Yes, you can touch the RAM through the heat spreader.
Yes, you can touch the RAM through the heat spreader.
Handling the heat spreader is acceptable. It shouldn't cause any discomfort. If you're worried about static electricity, it's generally manageable with today's parts, but ensure you stay grounded during assembly to prevent issues.
It's confusing to see the question raised. If you skip the heat spreader, the main way to secure it is through the pins—often beginners get nervous about those "computer-like" components. When I first assembled my PC, I was concerned about just gripping the GPU with the case cover, thinking some guide warned against touching the PCB traces before the backplate. I guess the comment was meant humorously, but I took it seriously at the time.